1. |
One Turkey Sandwich
03:40
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it's the office christmas party
and I'm feeling faint-hearted
everyone knows everyone
but I only just started
and the people are so friendly
I just want to impress
but I don't know what to order
and I'm not sure how to dress
I'll just have a taste of brandy
and a few slices of cheese
a small glass of wine
and a single turkey sandwich, please
the CEO has said he'll buy
the whole office a beer
and there's tons of enthusiastic
young people here
and I don't want to look old
I don't want them to think
that because I'm over thirty
I've forgotten how to drink
I'll take a half of bitter
and a slice of christmas cake
load my plate with just as many
sprouts as it will take
I'll have a taste of brandy
and a few slices of cheese
a small glass of wine
and a single turkey sandwich, please
the alcohol is kicking in
I'm starting to relax
I'm bombarding my colleagues
with anecdotes and facts
some are making excuses
fleeing for their cars
but I'm pulling out my wallet
and I'm back off to the bar
I'll have six pints of lager
and finish the mince pies
I'll buy shots for my table
even though it’s not wise
I'll take a half of bitter
and a slice of christmas cake
load my plate with just as many
sprouts as it will take
I'll have a taste of brandy
and a few slices of cheese
a small glass of wine
and a single turkey sandwich, please
they’ve got fear in their eyes
they all wear a shocked expression
I think it’s fair to say…
I have made an impression
I've got food in my hair
and sick on my shirt
I'm dancing on the table
til my feet start to hurt
I've had six pints of lager
and I finished the mince pies
I bought shots for my table
even though it wasn't wise
I had a half of bitter
and a slice of christmas cake
loaded my plate with just as many
sprouts as it would take
I had a taste of brandy
and a few slices of cheese
a small glass of wine
and a single turkey sandwich, please
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2. |
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I've hung out my stocking and left out a drink
but Santa doesn't come out this far, I don't think
though his reindeer are magical and full of grace
I don't think they can travel through space
it won't snow tonight
or anytime soon
it's Christmastime on the Moon
I planted a tree and I watered it well
I fed it with more oxygen than myself
despite the attention, it withered and died
I shouldn't have planted it on the dark side
it won't snow tonight
or anytime soon
it's Christmastime on the Moon
so think of me, everyone down on Earth
celebrating Christmas with laughter and mirth
as I sit alone in my lunar module
slowly running out of fuel
it won't snow tonight
or anytime soon
it's Christmastime on the Moon
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3. |
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smoke is in the air
and they’ve grounded all the flights
only locals are allowed
to enjoy the northern lights
but I'm heading to the docks
to pay for passage on a freighter
to take me up to Iceland
so I can leap into a crater
I love a little festive cheer
but the only way to end this year
i wish i was being melted alive
to death by a volcano this christmas
I turned down invitations
from family and friends
I sent cards and presents
that will surely make amends
maybe I can call them
for a little fireside talk
before I get totally obliterated
by tons of molten rock
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Vom Vorton Matlock, UK
ex-lardpony, OMAMA, etc.
diy pop songwriter, amateur cat artist, general movie obsessive etc etc.
Vom Vorton recommends:
Bees of the Invisible
by Gentle Brontosaurus
killer indiepop from my Vowl Sounds bandmate
go to album
a recent favourite, looping sax and keys and harmonies
go to album
incredible synthpop
go to albumIf you like Vom Vorton, you may also like:
Have Yourself a Merry Indie Christmas (Volume III)
by Various Artists
supported by 6 fans who also own “One Turkey Sandwich”
go to album
Have Yourself A Merry Indie Christmas Volume I
by Various Artists
supported by 6 fans who also own “One Turkey Sandwich”
go to album
Adventurous EP that embodies the sound of winter through crackly old piano and hope-filled songs.
go to album
