Special Equations

by Vom Vorton

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about

Recorded February 2012 to May 2013 at home in Matlock, Derbyshire.

credits

released 01 July 2013
Extra vocals on 'Dennis': Expendable Friend (expendablefriend.bandcamp.com)
Artwork: Alexander Hale
Everything else: Vom Vorton

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Track Name: After The World Has Ended
if we survive I'm going to buy you a drink
(though the chances are a million to one, I think)
maybe even a fancy meal if there's restaurants still standing
if not, I guess we'll build a fire
roast what we find as the flames rise higher
we can make our plans while the dust is gently landing

what you gonna do? after the world
after the world has ended?
will you still get chills
if my survival skills
fail to get things mended?

if we still exist I'll take you dancing
with no-one around it'll be less embarrassing
that my limbs flail uselessly like loose ropes
if there's no power to play the songs
then I will sing, and you sing along
our newly written songs will bring us hope

and if I'm not the ideal man to build us shelter
and if I struggle to keep up on foraging trips
and if the dog we find brings back more food than I do
and if I can't find anywhere that still sells fish and chips

then
what you gonna do? after the world
after the world has ended?
will you still get chills
if my survival skills
fail to get things mended?
Track Name: Dennis
She left me for a compulsive liar
She was an impulsive fool
She believed all the nonsense he fed her
Because she’d never done too well at school
She said that I had no ambition
She said that I lacked any drive
I just concentrated on my honesty
And doing enough to stay alive

If you’re feeling down, then I’m sorry
But Dennis got his name on a lorry
And that is more than you will ever do
Did you ever stop to think
Through the madness and the drink
That not everything he tells you might be true?

She left me for a politician
they’re not allowed to lie, that’s the law
Frankly, this statement shocked me so much
That I lost all control of my jaw
he revolutionised the fire department
he’s going places, you can go to hell!
After this astonishing outburst
My face followed my jaw, and fell

I know that you think I’m pretending
And you’ve seen his name on a fire engine
But you shouldn’t believe everything he said
I’ve had enough of sparing your feelings;
Even if he’s involved in dodgy dealings
He’s also better in bed.
Hey! Oh.

We were like Romeo & Juliet
Without the suicide
She was an innocent Bonnie
To my law-abiding Clyde
we were tragic lovers
But the real tragedy
Is that Dennis won her love
And not me.
Track Name: Broken Glass in the Thoroughfare
was this the work of hoodlums, or was it ne'erdowells?
how could such vandalism fall within earshot of church bells?
these are dark times for the village, and darker times for you
if you continue to be the instigator of hullabaloo

do you have a brush, for sweeping? or a dustpan for the shards?
did you not know there was a clean-up operation on the cards?

don't you know the rules?
do you even care?
there's no broken glass in the thoroughfare!
so respect your neighbours
it's only fair
no broken glass in the thoroughfare!

they say this area is haunted, how could it not be?
they've been burying the dead here since 653
these roads will uproot themselves and pavements will un-pave
when every one of those corpses starts turning in their grave

please don appropriate footwear, and cut the balderdash
lest your doorstep strewn with daggers cause a serious gash

don't you know the rules?
do you even care?
there's no broken glass in the thoroughfare!
so respect your neighbours
it's only fair
no broken glass in the thoroughfare!
Track Name: She's Gonna Use Technology
so naive, I'm not grasping her meaning or her subtext
baffled by the way she applies her verbs to my subject
and her body language is a language I can't understand
without translation software at hand

but she's learning that my brain works in a slightly different way
and she's composing me an email with her plans for the day
she's gonna use technology
to get through to me

so confused when she asks if I need something from the shops
she won't accept my paypal, hence the penny never drops
when she calls me on the phone I get terribly nervous
because she isn't an automated service

but she's learning that my brain works in a slightly awkward fashion
and that gadgets and devices are more than just a passing passion
she's gonna use technology
to get through to me

she says she finds it quite annoying that she has to change the way
that she provides me with information, but I consider it an upgrade!
she says she's starting to wonder if I am worth all of her time
but I come in quite handy as a tech support hotline
and when she needs help with her computer we get along just fine!

she's found that my brain is on a different wavelength
but what she considers to be a weakness I see as my greatest strength
she's gonna use technology
to get through to me
Track Name: Commodore Memories
the screen flickers and the clock ticks
I shouldn't be up this late
I'm rolling up in the carpet
and pressing play on tape
I'm still in single figures, I think
this isn't yet my room
I've had to sneak down two flights
of stairs in midnight gloom

the thrill of technology
will keep me awake tonight

my stomach feels a little weird
it knows I'm doing something wrong
adrenalin flows as games load
expectations raised because it takes so long
I've turned down the volume
so I can barely hear the sound
that indicates the game is ready
and I should stick around

the thrill of technology
will keep me awake tonight

this television has no remote control, but it is mine
it only takes sixteen colours to send shivers down my spine
to this day, when I hear those vibrant chords there's no way I can disguise a
lump in my throat from those familiar notes on an 8-bit synthesizer
Track Name: You Wouldn't Look Me In The Eyeball
you wouldn't look me in the eyeball!
you used a mirror just to look the other way
I could not work out from your reflection
whether I could trust the things that you say

because there's something suspect in your story!
I've heard conflicting testimony from another source
and although I rank their opinion highly
I value your input of course!

but you you you you you
wouldn't look me in the eyeball

you wouldn't call me by my first name!
you used a framework of misters and sirs
you spoke in a monotone, no emotion
I had no faith in your feeling-free words
Track Name: Another Dream
is there any better feeling
than waking in the night,
thinking that it must be time to get up
finding that it isn't quite
rolling back onto the pillow
safe, warm and calm
knowing there’s a good few
hours before the alarm

there's no sweeter sight
than the absence of light
peeking round the bedroom curtains
there's no sweeter feeling
nothing quite so appealing
as drifting back to sleep
I'm certain

to my half-open eyes it seems
there’s still time for another dream

my brain usually gets it right
and it's seconds before the beeping
but sometimes it wakes me up
when I've no reason not to be sleeping
while waking three minutes before the alarm
can leave me quite bereft
there's no joy more incredible
than finding there's four hours left
Track Name: Angry Man
through the walls I can hear him shouting
giving his emotions an outing
does he know that his anger
can be heard throughout the street?
I'm pretty sure that he's alone
maybe he's shouting down the telephone
or perhaps, just perhaps
he could be shouting at me

from the sound of his words he's furious
and though his anger leaves me curious
I try to ignore the things I hear him say
he's raging like a forest fire
and he never ever seems to tire
hope I never get in his way

he's taking a break for his dinner now
I can hear him crash about
pots and pans and cupboard doors
treated like enemies
I wonder what has him so worked up,
as he takes out his rage on a coffee cup
I hear it smash against my wall
and hope he wasn't aiming for me

from the sound of his words he's enraged
like a tiger trapped in a cage
I try to ignore the things I hear him say
he's got a mouth like danny dyer
and he's got a voice like a hairdryer
hope I never have to get in his way

so now I'm putting together an ACTION PLAN
step one: move away from this ANGRY MAN
step two: find a new house, the PERFECT FIT
for my 18-piece stadium rock DRUM KIT
Track Name: Pulp
he writes paperbacks and publishes himself
sneaks into the book shop and puts them on the shelf
he's tried getting them stocked properly, but the manager is tough
and she refuses to sell the really violent stuff
the shop is well stocked with romance, and there's plenty there for kids
but his stories of destruction, she completely forbids
and yet still he wears disguises and he puts on fake voices
to get his books on the shelves among the more wholesome choices

because his books are about murder
his books are about killing
they focus upon vengeance
in an attempt to be thrilling
they don't hold back on the detail
even when maybe they should
his books are about murder
and they are filled with blood

when they first started appearing, she flicked through the pages
although they turned her stomach, she thought about them for ages
and she found, in time, that these sordid tales
stuck in her head like blood under fingernails
soon the romance novels bore her, she craves violence and more
but she knows the local parents love her family-friendly store
and so she clears them from the window and removes them from the shelf
but every time he leaves a new one she takes a copy for herself

his books are about murder
his books are about killing
they focus upon vengeance
in an attempt to be thrilling
they don't hold back on the detail
even when maybe they should
his books are about murder
and they are filled with blood
Track Name: Gaps
That was a lot of wine for a work night
But I’m up and dressed and washed and out the door
Racking through my brains, past the headaches and pains
To find out what I did the night before
This didn’t seem so hard when it was regular
An occasional lapse carries a stronger warning
How could I refuse? Mouthwash is the best excuse
For tasting alcohol in the morning

These gaps in my memory
Are starting to worry me

Sat with a fuzzy head in the office
Your questions seem to fall on deaf ears
They’re actually getting in but hitting a layer of skin
That formed somewhere around the third round of beers
Now I can’t figure out what you’re asking
But I can make another round of drinks
The caffeine will open my eyes and form an effective disguise
So I look like I am still able to think

These gaps in my memory
Are starting to worry me